Between Viewings Read
Why every landlord secretly thinks they’re Phil & Kirstie
They’ve seen every episode of Homes Under the Hammer, and now they’re ready to “advise” you.
Sep 30, 2025
If you have worked in lettings for more than five minutes, you will know this: landlords love a bit of DIY expertise. Or at least, they think they do. Somewhere between watching Location, Location, Location and bingeing Homes Under the Hammer, many landlords develop the unshakable belief that they are the Phil Spencer or Kirstie Allsopp of their local property market.
The result? Agents spend a surprising amount of time smiling politely while gently steering them back to reality.
The Interior Design Visionary
“This avocado bathroom will be trendy again soon.”
No, it will not. And neither will the woodchip wallpaper, the three different shades of magnolia, or the curtains last seen in a 1990s soap opera.
Tenants want clean, neutral, and functional. They do not want to feel like they have stepped into a retro museum of poor design choices.
The Eternal Optimist
“Yes, the flat overlooks a kebab shop, but we can ask £2,000 a month. People will pay for the… atmosphere.”
Every agent has met the landlord who thinks their property is immune to market forces. In reality, the only thing that drives rent above market value is location, condition, and demand. Not the “unique charm” of being next door to a late night takeaway.
The Amateur Photographer
“I do not need professional photos. I have got an iPhone 6. It is basically the same.”
It is not. Listing photos are often the first impression tenants get. Blurry, badly lit images taken at odd angles are the rental equivalent of a bad dating profile picture. Professional photography is worth its weight in gold, even if the landlord insists their shots of half a kitchen will “do the job.”
The Aspiring Negotiator
“This tenant looks good, but can you also check if they like jazz and whether they will water the plants?”
Landlords sometimes forget referencing is about credit history, affordability, and suitability, not personal hobbies. While it would be lovely to match tenants with landlords on their love of Miles Davis, it is probably best to stick with the essentials.
The Agent’s Role: Phil and Kirstie, With a Reality Check
Here is the truth: landlords do not need to be TV property gurus. What they do need is a knowledgeable letting agent who:
Knows the market inside out
Can advise on realistic pricing
Understands what tenants are actually looking for
And is brave enough to say, “No, avocado bathrooms are not making a comeback.”
By balancing diplomacy with expertise, agents help landlords avoid costly mistakes and keep properties attractive to tenants.
Final Thought
Every landlord secretly thinks they are Phil or Kirstie. And that is fine. But the real stars of the show are the agents who quietly keep the market moving, armed with patience, pragmatism, and the occasional deep breath.
Because while landlords provide the bricks and mortar, it is agents who make the magic happen.
